The BJU Student handbook is a Never Ending Source of Humor

humor bob jones Fundamentalist Christian

Today on reddit I was linked to this year's version of the Bob Jones University (BJU) student handbook. I was raised by Liberal Christian parents who liked going to Methodist church that really wanted to be an Evangelical church deep in the Bible Belt. Needless to say, I knew what I was getting into when I saw the schools name. But never in the past have I ever thought to read sections of their student handbook. Surprisingly, it was less dry than my own schools student handbook. Several parts of this document made me burst into laughter.

Students are to attend chapel Monday through Thursday. They are to bring a Bible and sit in their Assigned chapel seats
Making students attend some sort of religious service is par the coerce for evangelical schools however, the thing that gets me is that BJU is like kindergarten. Eighteen to twenty-one year olds can't even pick who they sit beside.
Students are expected to attend all Sunday morning activities of a local
fundamental church.
No  Mainline Protestant churches for you and how dare you think of attending a *gasp* Catholic Mass or a Quaker Meeting or a service at a Synagogue.
[continuing from the last quote] In most cases that will be Sunday school and the Sunday morning service, plus an additional service during the week
Assuming chapel is one hour per session, BJU students are in a church service seven hours per week. Two hours on Sundays and Wednesdays to make up for the lack of god time on Fridays and Saturdays.
[As a Junior and above] Once a week (Sunday through Thursday nights) may study until 2 am in the residence hall study lounge
The normal curfew is 8 PM. The number of papers that I have written in the library at 2 am or later is uncountable and I was only a Freshman and a sophomore. My GPA would have taken a major hit if we had this policy here.
Monday through Saturday, men and women students have open access to the athletic fields and activity center and may run together on the outdoor track from when the street lights go off in the morning until they come on each evening.
I think I had this sort of rule in elementary school à la this Pittsburgh Dad video clip. (Something tells me that it is too "racy" to access at this "school")
Male and female students should guard their testimonies; they are not to be alone together in a classroom, rehearsal studio or other room.
Umm what...
Groups need to consist of an odd proportion of genders (e.g., three women and two men) and at least one student with advanced privileges for every five people in the group.
Good to know that the writer of this document has never heard of a threesome; I assume this policy is in place to keep people from having sex.
With the dean's approval, residence hall male students with at least general privileges may date a female day student or non-student in town.
Because an educational institution is in the business of being the local grapevine...
To date a non-student or a day student off campus, residence hall women students are to have an approved chaperon
*Blink* Your kidding. Double standard, much?
Fine Arts
Before purchasing tickets students should check with the School of Fine Arts and Communication office to ensure the event is approved.
Classical music and paintings are corrupting our youth!
Students are not to patronize restaurants with a tavern or bar-like atmosphere or reputation or that do not have a dining room separate from live entertainment.
I think I would need to patronize the local bar heavily to last a month at this school.
Any music which, in whole or in part, derives from the following broadly defined genres or their sub-genres: Rock, Pop, Country, Jazz, Electronic/ Techno, Rap/Hip Hop or the fusion of any of these genres
So everything that you can find on the radio. Why is Jazz on this list? Does this sweet sounds of a sax make kids crazy? I assume that I can listen to my collection of Christian Rock CDs from when I was in Jr. High, Right? Relient K, Kutless, and DC Talk?
Any music in which Christian lyrics or biblical texts are set to music which is, in whole or in part, derived from any of these genres or their subgenres.
Well, fuck.
In a related area, because of the sensual nature of many of its forms, dancing is not permitted.
There goes a whole department at most major universities.
Students are not to watch movies on campus. In private homes students may view G-rated movies and movie trailers. In a faculty/staff home students may view certain PG movies when the faculty or staff member watches with students and objectionable elements are discussed.
Televisions in residence hall rooms may be used as game consoles or computer monitors only. Students are not to watch television shows, movies, movie trailers or sports broadcasts on their cellphones or computers.
What do people do for fun here. Also, there are objectionable things in PG movies?
My question is, how does one live as a young adult in a world like this. There are people to meet things to learn, boundaries to push and a self to create. If a child is in a fundamentalist household and then goes to BJU they will have a way of forming their values without seeing the world through the lens that such a lifestyle lends. I feel that this is damaging to people. Part of being an adult is living in a world of grayscale morals and doing what you think is right, not what your parents or your church think so.